It’s been ages since I wrote one of these. But right now, there’s one thing that’s completely saving my life right now, and that’s running.
I know. I never thought I’d say it, either.
Exercise is a real psychological knotweed for me. I’ll probably explore it a bit more in a later post, but basically my current focus on running/exercise in general is down to two things. One, I’ve recently been diagnosed with osteoarthritis in the hands. Two, I am trying to grow as a person, and tackle those things that scare me.
Exercise scares me. Because I’ve ‘never been any good at it’, because I often feel fat (I’m not overweight), because of a whole host of things. But being diagnosed with a chronic, incurable, frankly not-even-very-treatable-at-all condition like osteoarthirits has made me rather keen to have something that I can do at those times when my hands give out and I am stuck at home feeling like I’m trapped and useless. So that something is running. I don’t know if it always will be, but right now I’m enjoying the challenge. I have short-term goals, and longer-term dreams, and that’s keeping my brain happy and focussed.
The weird thing is, running is also kind of eating up my headspace. I find myself thinking about it when I’m not doing it. Thinking about when I will get to run, whether I can fit it in tomorrow, whether it will go as well tomorrow as it went today. It’s quite strange. I assume these thoughts are occurring because the whole running thing is completely new to me, and I’ve made it goal-orientated in the short term. That’s basically crack for my brain, which is now super-fixated on ‘doing the thing’!
However it’s working, I’m definitely keen on it, and it seems to be good both for my brain and my hands. I’m not sure why it’s reducing the pain in my hands, but I’m definitely happy about it!
Being at home is also a really big thing that’s saving my life right now. Just having time to be at home, to potter around, to tidy things, to make food, to do the washing. Boring, every day types of things. I’m not sure when I became so aware that having time at home is so good for my sense of wellbeing. Perhaps it just crept up on me. But these days, I look at back-to-back full weekends with a sense of dread. I need down-time between working weeks, time to ground myself in my own space. I try not to turn down too many activities, but I do turn down some. I just hope it doesn’t make me too boring!
Okay, so only two things, but they’re big for me 🙂 I hope you’ve got something good going on in your life too.